Pictured: Nero's actual head.
Flamed so hard he burned down Rome then blamed the Christians. He also went and had relations with several family members. Died a trolls death (gangbanged murdered by butthurt dissatisfied senators).
Lies aside, lets go explore the man himself.
What was it about Nero that scores him a spot on my list of history's greatest trolls? Well, if anyone has ever halfway listened in their ancient history classes, you'll know about Nero's reputation. Of all the historians whose works survive, the general message about the man was that he was bats%* crazy. Some sources quote sources as saying that aside from these bad parts, Nero was an effective leader and popular.
Its just that when his haters comprise a great portion of the then-budding Catholic population, things tend to become a little complicated. It could be said that he made trolling Catholics cool - from blaming them for the great fire of Rome, feeding them to lions for sport and culminating in the upside-down crucifixion of St. "The Rock" Peter. His trolling was so epic it earned him a spot in the Bible (several times), influencing the way New Testament books were written. (Bible references will go here later). Even the fierce "number of the beast," 666, refers to Nero's beastly troll status.
Of course, trolls can be people to. Josephus, probably one of the more sane historians of the period, realized that people didn't like Nero very much. Despite his own reservations to praise Nero, eloquently points out the bias against the guy:
But I omit any further discourse about these affairs; for there have been a great many who have composed the history of Nero; some of which have departed from the truth of facts out of favor, as having received benefits from him; while others, out of hatred to him, and the great ill-will which they bare him, have so impudently raved against him with their lies, that they justly deserve to be condemned. Nor do I wonder at such as have told lies of Nero, since they have not in their writings preserved the truth of history as to those facts that were earlier than his time, even when the actors could have no way incurred their hatred, since those writers lived a long time after them.
From Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews XX.8.3.
In other words, haters gonna hate - they'll ensure that anyone listening to them will leave with a negative view of the man. According to Wikipedia (which is probably the MOST DEFINITIVE, ACCURATE AND TOTALLY UNBIASED SOURCE EVER), he paid for the rebuilding of Rome out of his own pocket. There's plenty about him that point away from the traditional troll image painted over the centuries.
So, what about his contributions to the art of trolling?
A Pioneer: He's credited to be one of the first state-backed Christian persecutors, paving the way for today's ultra-logical agnostics and internet philosophers.
Two-face troll-face: Loved by many, hated by many; Nero is lauded as a devil to one crowd and hero to another (particularly to the eastern half of the Roman empire and other). Heroes can be trolls. Trolls can be heroes. Two faces on the same person, depending on who you are it could be a troll face. It also depends on the person who wrote the history.
Signature Move: Flaming Lyre - deals 15000 fire damage per minute and inflicts burning on 134 houses in 4 blocks (6 days). End effect: The Christians take the blame.
So that's it. If you'd like a more complete, unbiased history on Nero, take a history class. If you want a more biased and hilarious account, read part one of In defense of Slandered Heroes.
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