Trolls IRL

So I was sitting on BART on my way home from my last day as an undergrad, and right as I got on the train I was met with the sight of eaten chicken wings under the senior seat and a smell. I turned around and saw a fat, bald Hispanic man stuffing his face with said chicken wings. As the ride went on he opened up his bags and threw out a few things all over the seat and immediate floor around him. He kept giving me (and everyone else) around the car looks, as if seeing if anyone would do anything. I sat there the whole time he was on the train, getting madder by the minute. Ladies and gentlemen, as a fairly staunch upholder of public order, I was getting trolled.

Hard.

My gut reaction was to take my pen and shove it right into his eye socket, but my better nature held me back on the grounds that ink would show better on paper rather than inside a man's occipital lobe. He also struck me as the kind of person who kept guns under those flabs of fat (I live in the Bay, you never know whose armed or not). Yes internet, I wussed out.

So, why'd he do it? For starters, amid the gluttonous chaos there was a method to the trolling madness. He wasn't trolling anyone in particular, just making an ass of himself. As far as I know he didn't directly insult anyone, instead going out of his way to disgust as many people as possible. This fat man (who shall henceforth be called "Tabachoy") was a high class troll. His method was good, almost rehearsed.

On that line of thought, Tabachoy has probably gotten away with this before. It's a matter of whether you get a positive outcome from your actions or a different result. In Tabachoy's case, I'll have to guess that the Bystander effect was on his side. Everyone thought someone else was going to do something, but nothing happened. Pardon my french, but that's some ol' bullllll$^%t. But yeah, if anyone remember their Intro to Psych class you should recall the Murder of Kitty Genovese; the same principal was at work here. Lastly, Tabachoy was probably doing it for the attention, or the lulz.

And Tabachoy's technique? He didn't target anyone specifically; if anything he was targeting BART and the general trend of conformity. There was no singling out, and when there was the conversation was actually civil (he asked someone for the time, said hello to a lady that gave him a dirty look; all with that trollface). He made sure to keep the anger floating in the air, spreading with the garbage and away from him. In retrospect, that was brilliant.

Man I wish I had a picture.